I was recently asked if I was interested in travelling to the closest “Baby Loves Disco” venue to me TWO HOURS AWAY to partake in this hip new playgroup where babies evidently get their groove on in the daylight hours in a real nightclub.
Two hours away?
I’m sure it is megga fun, but I politely declined. I then found myself met with a response bordering condescension. Why on earth would I not travel such a trivial distance for something as fantastic as Baby Loves Disco? Had I ever been before? How did I know what I was missing if I did not at least go one time?
True, true and true.
But, let me count the ways!
Two hours in the car with my three kids? No thanks! Unless I am going away for the week, I’ll gladly stay at home rather than try to control the constant bickering and whining that erupts when I attempt to drive any distance longer than 15 minutes.
Next, have you ever been in a night club at closing time? In my much younger days, I have! When those lights come on in the wee hours of the morning, it ain’t pretty and it’s certainly not somewhere I would consider taking any precious cherub of mine! Baby Loves Disco takes place in those very nightclubs where unspeakable acts have taken place in dark corners and those who drank too much alcohol have possibly felt the need to forcefully expul the contents of their stomachs on to the dance floor! I am very skeptical at how such a place can be transformed in to a child friendly mecca.
I can just picture my older boys faces at having to dance and get their groove on with babies? Can you just imagine the shame? They would never live it down lest their friends find out!
Finally, this being my third child, I am on to “them.” That is, those who want to make a fortune out of unsuspecting first time or even second time parents anxious to provide their little bundles of joy with every and any hip kind of stimulation, including dancing in a dirty nightclub to the sounds of disco. I am quite sure that if Baby Loves Disco had been around the first time around, I admittedly would have been all over it like a moth to a flame. But, dammit I know I am a hip momma without having to fork over the moolah for tickets to said event.
Not that there’s anything wrong with it or those who want to go, but who needs Baby Loves Disco anyway?
I may change my mind if it comes to a venue closer to me though, but until then I am more than happy to take my baby to Mommy and Me classes or sit and watch my kids happily play at the playground or to even put some music on my very own beat box and dance, spin and blow bubbles in my front room with them.