I’ll never forget the day it happened. Almost 27 years ago to the day, I walked in to my first middle school class and was seated alphabetically . . . at the back of the classroom. It was an English class and the teacher, Mr. Parkin who to this day remains one of my favourite teachers ever, wrote his name on the chalkboard.
And. I. Couldn’t. Read. It.
The words were blurry.
It’s a day that I should have seen coming . . . given my genes and all . . . but I was still in shock.
Somehow I was able to hide my blindness until the school had their annual eye and hearing exams for all the students. Failing miserably, a letter was sent home with instructions for my parents to make an appointment with the local optician.
With only one NHS optician in my hometown, you can imagine the selection of frames I had to choose from. Thus, my first pair of glasses resembled a cross between Deirdre from Coronation Street . . .
. . . and Sally Jessy Raphael.
The shame of it — those ugly, peach glasses gave this awkward, amazon teen nightmares. For a long time! I quite rightly hid them and squinted until I was finally allowed to get contact lenses!
As I grew older, I continued to ignore my specs. . . in fact, when I was forced to pick out a new pair I’d literally take seconds to do so and then they would spend years tucked away in a drawer somewhere only to be brought out when I was suffering terribly from some malady or another.
They were all pretty bad taste with styles that varied from Harry Potter . . .
. . . to Ugly Betty.
But, with age comes a wiser, less vain momma . . . yes, the older I get the more I find I’m wearing my specs. And let’s face it, glasses are so much easier to wear than contact lenses are to stick in my eyeballs! I now treat shopping for new glasses like I’m on the hunt for a new, cute accessory or outfit, however unlike when trying on some clothes, you can’t really ask if glasses make you look fat.
Or can you?
I take a little more time these days looking for the perfect pair of glasses . . . scouring the ‘net, looking through fashion magazines and window shopping. I randomly visit optical shops trying on glasses after glasses and have been known to ask some poor, unsuspecting, bespectacled fashionista what style they are wearing. And, I try not to think of that gawky 12-year-old who sat at the back of the class . . . squinting at the chalkboard . . . covertly wearing those ugly ass glasses when she absolutely had to.
For my latest pair, I was going for the Tori Spelling geek chic look. Minus the pigtails!
So, I ask you . . . do these glasses make me look fat?