I know it’s very unladylike of me, but when I lived in the eternal sunshine state that is Florida, I liked to use the phrase . . . “hot as balls” when describing the abnormally hot weather conditions.
I liked to use that phrase.
And, I don’t even have balls.
With the weather finally on the warm-up over here in the UK, the term has started to pop in my head again.
Now, I know I certainly didn’t coin the phrase because it’s everywhere and damn, I know I’m famous and all, but really … taking credit for it would be stretching things. And, like I said I don’t even have any balls to begin with so how would I ever come up with it in the first place?
Anyway, being the strangely curious person I am, I wondered just what balls the term refers to and decided to do some highly intellectual research on its origin. *cough, cough*
Here’s what I came up with …
There are several meanings of the word “balls,” but I think only a couple that actually fit so to speak. The first being that of a lavish or formal social function for dancing. A ball like that could get quite hot and sweaty.
However, if that were indeed the true origin of the phrase, wouldn’t it actually be used in the singular, for example “today is as hot as a ball?”
Which brings me to the second definition of the word “balls” … the slang term for testicles. After much research, I discovered that the average temperature of testicles is about 95 degrees Fahrenheit which really is hotter than hot. In fact, when summer temperatures soar to that, I think it’s quite appropriate to say it’s ”hot as balls” unless, of course, it’s higher and then you would say something like it’s “hot as kidneys” or “hot as blood,” but I digress.
There you have it.
The term “hot as balls” clearly describes hot weather and can be attributed to the natural temperature of a male’s testicles.
Hmmmm, I wonder where the phrase “cold as brass monkeys” comes from?