Overheard at the dinner table …

Mother: I do find Mexican to be quite low in fat and healthy, don’t you?

Me: Well, it depends if you eat a whole one or not.

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Oldest son: When exactly do you become an adult?

Me: Well, basically it’s when you’re a contributing member of society … you vote, you pay taxes, etc.

Middle son: I thought it was when you become boring.

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Me (struggling to find room in fridge for various salsa and hot sauces, etc.): Mother, you do like your condiments, don’t you?

Mother: Yes, well, we are condom kind of people.

Me (eyes rolling): Ummmm, oh-kay.

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Me: You’re going to stay at the dinner table until you’ve taken one more bite.

Youngest son (said in new squeaky Urkle type voice): But, that’s ridiculous … I’ll be so tired in the morning.

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Me: Ye know, I am the funniest in this house.

Mother: Yeah. Funniest in the head. At least that’s what the doctors told me when you were little.

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Youngest son: Mum, guess what? [Insert oldest son's name] likes *whispers* boobies now.

Me (before realising what he said): That’s good.

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Middle son: So, I’m gifted?

Me: Yes, son … you were a gift from the stork. Found under a cabbage patch with a red bow on.

Middle son: Muuuuuuuuuuuuum

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Middle son: If you drove like a man, you’d get there quicker.

Me (muttered to myself): If you mean straight into a coffin, then yeah.

Middle son: I forgot, you’re not a man.

Me: That’s good of you to notice.

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Me: I am so on the edge of glory.

Mother: Yes, and you have me hanging on the edge of my insanity.

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Oldest son: There’s gonna be a lot of gas coming from me tonight.

Mother: Why’s that?

Oldest son (points to black beans and rice): Fuel for ma butt

Mother: Nice

Me: [Insert oldest son's name]!!!

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Youngest son: Know what happens when you’re a ninja?

Me: What’s that son?

Youngest son: You can do a double jump.

Me: Cool beans.

Tags: children, conversations, Family, funny, kids, Random, stuff