For the past couple of weeks I’ve been feeling a strange mix of emotions.
Highs and lows.
Ups and downs.
But, then I hear filing for divorce does that to a person.
The worst feeling I have, besides sadness for my children, is that of unbelievable failure.
Because I hate to fail at anything.
Which was probably part of the problem. My whole Virgo/perfectionist/ ”failure is not an option” attitude needs a bitch slapping, I think. I must really try to do better at recognising when something isn’t good for me and let it the fuck go rather than hanging on to it with a death grip.
A friend told me not to look at my divorce as a failure because I didn’t fail. I gave him and us a good portion of my life and I have three gorgeous boys to show for it.
So, yes … I’ve joined the likes of Russell & Katy, Seal & Heidi, Kim & What’s His Face and officially filed for divorce post-Christmas. Maybe it’s something to do with all that turkey and sherry and Christmas cake.
Or, it could be that it’s a time of year when you’re bombarded with messages of love and happiness. Messages that can intensify all that you feel is missing in your own life. Especially after you open a present on Christmas morning to find you’ve been given a mixer.
Now, what was I saying about letting it go?
The Mad House said:
Sending you all my love. You have not failed at all, you are a remarkable woman a nd a fantastic mother.
Gone Bananas said:
I believe a certain sister told you the same! 20 years is not failure! I know right now it doesnt feel loke it, but things will turn around! Love you! xx
Sandy Calico said:
Thinking of you. As the others have said, 20 years and 3 children is a fantastic achievement – not a failure x
Mistress Mummy said:
*sending big hugs* It’s true, you have some fabulous things to show for it x
Nickie said:
New year, new start, new you. No failure, just something that will be better by it working in a different way. You know where I am x
Paula said:
You know I know, but we both know that it’s not failure. When you’re sitting on your porch at 86, quilting and sipping on a gin-filled tea cup you’ll look back on a life well-lived, one where you took responsibility for yourself and your lovely children and you made it what it is. You’re amazing. Much love x
Him Up North said:
Heidi Klum’s back in circulation?
Words like failure don’t apply here. Recognising the issues and acting on them are ultimately a sign of strength. Your future awaits you. Grab it
kyooty said:
hugs!!!!
kyooty said:
Ok now that the hugs are out there, I am going to do the rest.
I say the same thing to my sister who is working on her own divorce. The live you had with this man is the life that gave you the best gifts ever. Boys! My sister has 2, and remind her when she’s having a “day” that without the ass there would be no boys. I love my nephews.
Jackie said:
“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”
~ Alexander Graham Bell
My dear friend,
We live our life to be happy and feel fulfilled! How unfair would it be to yourself and those three gorgeous boys of yours to have stayed in a relationship that was wearing you down?
No regrets! Happiness is right around the corner…through that new door!
You know I have been there. And now, I finally know what happiness really is!
Love you