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And, why they wind up on my blog, I have no idea.

*shakes head and tuts at you all*

No idea at all.

It’s been a while since I paid much attention to my blog, but I decided after seeing some *coughs* disturbing search engine terms like “johnny depps’ armpits” and worse still, “photos of johnny depp’s armpits”, that it was time for another one of these here posts.

Here goes your perverted nothing…

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To the person who googled “boulder boobs” – the question is who are you?  Someone who has them, wants them or just wants to see them?  Mine are pretty big, but not THAT big.

To the person that googled “what do you do when you get poked in the eye with a pencil” — firstly, OUCH.  Next, I would get off the Internet and then go phone your doctor.

To the person who googled “half naked oompa loompah” — dude, that is some kind of fetish.

To the person who googled ”wenslydale cheese” – ummm, yes please.

To the person who googled “can i bring macaroons in my carry on luggage” — I’m sure as long as they’re sealed, it’s okay.

To the person who googled “mom wearing embarrassing outfits with kid ” – who on earth would do that to their kid?  Bloody shame is all I’m saying.  Kids have enough to deal with these days.  Get thine self some fashion sense.

To the person who googled ”goopy legs” – ewwwww, what is that dripping down your legs?

To the person who googled “ryan gosling hey girl sleep” – again, ummm, okay.

To the person who googled “i miss late night walks” – yeah, me too, but there’s coyotes and bugs out there.  Best to go hiking during the day, mate.

To the person who googled ”chav woman licking fingers” – Pffffft. I thought I was done with these chav searches.  No chav women here so carry on.

To the person who googled “my wobbly bits” — yes, those would be your wobbly bits.  Look after them okay?

To the person who googled “the nicest camel toe ever” – yeah, thaaaanks, I guess.

To the person who googled “why are my balls hot” — because maybe you’re hot and not in a good way?

To the person who googled “witty virgo” — I know and I aim to please, so thanks for noticing.

To the person who googled “laughing boobs” — dude, seriously?  Boobs don’t laugh.  I don’t think?  Or, maybe they do? Do they? *runs off to go check a pair out in the mirror*

To the person who googled “weirdest things to google” – yeah, see the above.

*tuts*

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And, now I’m off to google what up with Mr. Depp’s pits.