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Yesterday, I had the mother of all parenting fails.

I guess it happens to everyone, right?

*sigh*

In the state of Florida, schoolchildren are required to present a physical as well as a current record of immunizations for entry and attendance in school.   When I took the boys for their school physical, I was informed that the tween was due some more jabs, but then I must have kinda forgot or pushed it to the back of my mind.

And, that’s all she wrote.

Until my tween, a huge grin on his face, handed me a letter on Sunday evening with the words FINAL NOTICE emblazoned across the top

I was all, huh?  Where’s the first blooming notice?

Anyway, said letter informed me that the tween would not be allowed to return to school until his immunization record was complete and turned in to the school.

Craptastic. 

Unless a legitimate medical or religious exemption is produced, students who do not have the government approved immunization schedule are simply barred from attending class.

My kid? 

Barred from school? 

The shame of it.  I was absolutely mortified, but also slightly bemused by my sheer stupidity. 

Let even more blonde jokes commence.

*sigh*

Anyway, there went my Monday. 

The tween, still with a great big grin on his face, and I had to run all over town, from one pediatrician’s office to another to the health department to the school and back again. 

Incidently, I thought it interesting that the school was concerned that unvaccinated children could spread disease to vaccinated children, but gave no thought to those vaccinated children who actually get the disease and could pass it on.  And, also if the vaccine is truly effective, how could an unvaccinated child spread the disease to someone who has already received the vaccine?    

Thankfully, I got him back to school for his afternoon classes so he didn’t completely miss the day. 

As I was dropping him off, I overheard the office staff discussing how many students were sitting in the office waiting to be picked up by their parents on account of incomplete vaccination records.

Hmmm, seems I’m not the only one with this parenting fail.

Yeah.  About that title.  Sorry, but I couldn’t think of anything more suitable for this post so please buckle up, grin and bare it.

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Picture this.

Most mornings I shamelessly wake up with a bounce in my step and a song in my heart.  While the majority of the house is still sleeping, I grab a cup of coffee and cosy up on my brown, leather couch to do a spot of reading.  Sounds all very nice and all, doesn’t it?  Believe me it is … until I suddenly spot them.

Flakes.

Lovely white flakes.

All around me … and I realise that once again I have sat in a veritable pile of snow — my husband’s dandruff.  You see, he has a bit of a dandruff problem lately which means I’m in dandruff hell.  Did I mention we have a dark brown leather couch?

Believe me, it’s not a pretty sight nor is it any fun to clean up.  And, evidently the hubby is left mystified as to why I am so grossed out by it as after all it is just little parts of him flaking off.  (His words, not mine.)

Dead skin.

Ewwwwwwww.  I mean, come on.  Can we get any grosser?

He just doesn’t see it though.  I guess, like most dandruff sufferers, he doesn’t know that every time he so much as touches his head an avalanche occurs.  Truth be told, it’s a little problem that’s fast becoming between us because each time I see him scratch his head I cringe and then I’m all yelling and snapping at him to stop.

Bless him, he has tried everything, but a prescription strength treatment shampoo.  That’s the next resort methinks as I just can’t take it anymore.  His superhuman shedding powers must be stopped. 

Help!

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Now, if you happen to have a better title for me, do me a favour and keep it to yourself, however, if you have a known cure for my dandruff hell I’d love to hear it. Thanks.

Sorry to all those shoppers whom I’ve blocked in, but I thought I had it down to a fine art.

It’s usually only foods that my children beg me for . . . ye know, the crap they see during Nickelodean commercial time that has me reading the product ingredient list as I do tend to only buy organic or natural foods anyway.  I mostly scan for the sheer volume of ingredients in a product, MSG, trans fats, sweeteners, sodium and shellfish (I’m allergic) and have been known on more than a few occasions to deposit a food item back on its shelf in absolute disgust.

There is a recent news article on MSNBC entitled 12 Food Additives to Avoid, however,  that has peaked my interest and has me refining my label reading.  According to the author, one should avoid the following if you ever want to live to see another day . . . 

1. Sodium Nitrate– avoid processed meats coz it’s all over those and that includes bacon.  Apparently it prevents the spread of bacteria . . . ewwww and so long to bacon butties!
2. Butylated Hydroxyanisole (BHA) and Butylated Hydrozyttoluene (BHT) — these are apparently unstable ingredients mostly found found in cereals, chewing gum, potato chips, and vegetable oils.  Yikes, unstable?  Spontaneous combustion, anyone?
3. Propyl Gallate — huh?  What’s this you ask?  Me too!  Merely linked to cancer, this additive is sometimes found in meat products, chicken soup base, and chewing gum.
4. Monosodium Glutamate — yeah, yeah.  I know this one!
5. Trans Fats — got this one too.
6. Aspartame — enough said.
7. Acesulfame-K– this is evidently a new artificial sweetener that is found in soft drinks, baked goods, chewing gum, and gelatin desserts.  Scary.
8. Food Colorings: Blue 1, 2; Red 3; Green 3; and Yellow 6– unbelievable, but evidently these food dyes have been linked to cancer yet are still being used in beverages, candy, baked goods, etc.
9. Olestra – yuck, I think we all remember the press that this fat absorbing preservative got a few years back.  Right?
10. Potassium Bromate– the fine state of California has it right on this additive as they require a cancer warning on the product label if it’s an ingredient . . . it’s an additive found in white flour, breads, and rolls.
11. White Sugar — this ingredient intrigued me.  Sugar?  A cancer causing ingredient?  It made the list because although it is non-toxic, large amounts are unsafe for our health and promote bad nutrition.
12. Sodium Chloride — known to the general population as salt, this made the list as excessive amounts of it can lead to bad health.

So, it seems that shopping may take a little longer these days as I will be taking a little longer to read the ingredients on the foods that my children thrust in to the shopping cart.  Or, maybe I’ll just stick to organic!

The reason I think this is because the last two issues have featured Anderson Cooper and Ewan McGregor and I have heard a rumour that Patrick Dempsey will be in the next one! 

Hmm, wonder who they are interviewing next from my list!

It’s a great magazine to tell you the truth!  I do enjoy sneaking it away from DH’s stash of mags and having a little lookie loo especially now — I can drool over said hunks and look for cute outdoor gear all at the same time!  What more could a girl desperate housewife ask for?

In fact, it was so delicious I didn’t mind having to clear this all up afterwards:

Photic Sneeze Reflex or sun sneezing, that is! 

What the hell is that you all ask? 

Well, it is a trait that apparently affects up to 35% of the population that causes sneezing when exposed to bright light.  I used to tell DS#1 he was allergic to the sun as whenever we would leave the house, store or other indoor place and walk outside into the sun, he would sneeze and I mean sneeze!  Then, when DS#2 came along, I saw that he would do it as well!  And on our walk yesterday, DS#3 did it!  

Anyway, I’m happy and relieved I can now put a name to this infliction.  And, of all the ones they could have been born with, I think it’s a very cute one to have, don’t you?