For months I’ve been driving past an empty new build plaza that has a corner storefront loosely resembling the trademark signs of a Starbucks, anxiously awaiting its grand opening.  Then I read this week that your ambitious plans to take over the world with that lovely mermaid logo and your super delicious skinny lattes with wings have been curtailed by today’s faltering economy. 

I’ll admit that there is a lot more competition out there for you today, but the coffee wise still enjoy yours immensely.  Can’t you do what the rest of business is doing these days and lower your prices. 

As much as I heart your super delicious coffee, I have discovered that for the same price as said skinny latte with wings, I can purchase an equally yummy latte AND a donutlow fat blueberry muffin at Dunkin Donuts.

So, that’s it then . . . I’ve to forever drive past an empty building thinking of what could have been?

What’s sad is that some of your employees weren’t even aware that their stores were indeed on the list of scheduled closings.  Please look after your peeps or I shall be forced to purchase my coffee elsewhere indefinitely.

BTW, my lil sis over at My Life for the World to See is having her 100th post giveaway and is offering up a gift card to Starbucks!!  And, isn’t it ironic?  Hopefully, if you win it, your local store will not be one of those affected!!  Anyway, go check her out.

So, since I began my freak out diet and exercise regime to get my muffin top body beach ready, I’ve resisted weighing myself.

Until yesterday morning.

I stepped on the scale with baited breath . . . the anticipation of seeing a new number appear on the digital readout.  And, the new number was only 3 frigging pounds less.  Grrrrrrrrrr!  What more can I be doing?  I’ve been exercising every day and really really watching what I eat. 

I’ll admit, my clothes do feel a little looser, but I’m still a heifer on the scale.

Then I realised that I am getting that slightly bloated feeling, I’m craving chocolate and wine, feeling a little cranky (did you read my last post) and my skin is breaking out.  Could it be my monthly visitor is going to make an appearance soon?  I’m doomed, people, doomed.  I guess I’ll be packing the black-suck-it-all-in-one-piece instead of the itsy-bitsy-teeny-weeny-polka-dot-bikini!

Last night, defeated, I pigged out on a couple of beers, some cheese and crackers and a handful of Maltesers.  Today, I can hear the Penguins calling my name, “Karen, p-pick up a Penguin.”

Did I mention my local grocery store has started carrying British goods?

Sorry about the lack of posts, but to tell you the truth, I’ve been stewing/fuming/pissed off/mad as hell . . . or call it what you like and I didn’t want to post a full on rant.  I’ve calmed down a little, but not much. 

I have been fed up of my husband’s mess.  That is my husband’s mess and not my husband because the man himself is just fine. 

You see, he doesn’t lift a finger to pick up after himself, much less anyone else.

He’s not a bad man.

Just a messy albeit lazy man.

He works hard.

He bikes hard.

He plays hard.

He loves me.

He loves his children.

I would say he’s almost perfectly perfect in every way, but he’s messy.

Although, he can be a tad sarcastic and biting at times, but I digress.

He does like to cook, but it is so not worth the mess at the end of the day.  And, he really is a fantastic cook.

He does make the coffee in the morning and even brings me a cup in the morning before he leaves for work, so he is really not all that bad. 

Now, I can handle keeping a handle on my home when I was solely a stuck at home mom, but now with working the weekends, I don’t think it is too much to ask that he pick up.  I don’t mind the toys or unmade beds, but breakfast, lunch and dinner dishes in the sink I do draw the line at especially when we have a frigging dishwasher.  I mean, what’s up with that?  Use a dish . . . stick it in the dishwasher.  Crumbs on the floor, stinky towels in the bathroom . . . ewwww.  We have a swiffer, broom and dustpan, handheld dyson as well as the big dyson vacuum.  Can he not use one of them?

I’m a worrier and I’ve been worrying about what I am going to come home to after my girls’ getaway this weekend.

So, peeps I need suggestions on how to get said husband to pick up after himself and the children.  Is there a class out there that he can take or at his old age is he beyond hope?  Help a ranting momma out . . .

Okay, rant over!

So, I came home from work on Saturday to find the littlest munchkin’s tresses all chopped off! 

I agree, it had to be done as the poor lad was being mistaken for a wee lassie or a redneck with a baby mullet (no offense meant to any proud redneck babies with mullets), but I wanted to be there for the deed!  I guess DH thought it best he just tackle it himself as I have to admit that I’ve been putting off getting it trimmed up.  Apparently, the little one thought it quite funny and giggled as the clippers tickled his hair!  Then he decided to give it a go himself and grabbed them!  Yikes!  I’ll need to watch out with that one!  

Thank goodness we don’t have the Flowbee because Lord knows what he’d try and do with the vacuum!

 Then after I got home from work on Sunday, I noticed what looked like a huge bruise on his side and leg.  Of course, I gave them all the Spanish Inquisition to find out what happened, but to no avail.  Nobody knew a thing — apparently there were no catastrophes or crying spells that account for said bruising.  I was kind of freaking out wondering if there was internal bleeding going on.  Well, later, as I was getting changed out of the work gear and was in my master bathroom, I picked up some lipstick that had been taken out of my makeup drawer and the penny dropped.  The colour matched his bruising exactly!  One bath later and most of the lippy as gone!  After going through my makeup drawer and examining each lipstick I can see a little fingernail print in each one as if he had been testing them out! 

Do I have the makings of a future drag queen here?

He does like to wear my shoes . . . not to mention that he tries on my bras when he can get a hold of them, but that’s a whole other post!

This week’s theme made me tongue in cheek think of this photo of my littlest munchkin eating lord knows what . . . he’s so proud of himself he can finally feed himself!  Enough said . . .

PhotoHunt

Apparently, a woman in Maine was checking on her laundry the other day when she discovered an 8 foot python wrapped around her clothes inside the washing machine!

The snake had somehow got in to her house through the water pipes as it was searching for somewhere damp to reside.

Snakes alive!

And, just as I was about to try and get more laundry done!  I know, any excuse, right?

My good older ole pal, Pittsburgh JoAnn is in town visiting with her daughter, Erin this week. 

We met when our kids were in 1st grade together.  My oldest son had come home from his first day of school to tell me he had been seated in between two blonde haired girls, but that both girls wore their hair in pony tails.  Both had chatted nonstop to him and he fessed to me that the only way he could tell the difference between then was how many teeth they had missing.  This gave me a good chuckle and I just knew I had to find the moms and tell them which is when I first spoke to JoAnn.  She was visibly upset one day as we were both dropping our kids off.  My son had wandered quite happily off to class, whereas her daughter was crying and clinging.  The kids’ teacher managed to pry Erin from JoAnn and gave her strict orders to leave and not turn around and that Erin would be fine.    To lighten the mood, I told her about my son’s story and broke the ice so to speak.

I found we share the same self depracating sense of humour and she has an even more sarcastic take on life than I do.  Bonding over coffee, coronas and deals at the local Target, I found in her a great friendship.  Then she went and got the hell outta Florida moved away when our kids were in 4th grade. 

Now the kids are about to enter the 7th grade . . . sniff, sniff . . . how time flies.   And, here she is again on her annual pilgrimage back to visit . . . and it’s like she’s never been away!  Except the fact that the kids are clearly growing up!  Fast!

Yesterday, another friend organized for a group of us to head to the local ice skating rink.  They all seemed to have fun!  Obviously, I couldn’t ice skate what with having to watch the little munchkin and all, who by the way took a tumble when climbing the bleachers.  I let go of his hand ONE time to wave to my middle son who was demonstrating how he could actually skate without clinging to the guard rail.  And, that’s when it happened.  He has a lovely bruise and scratch on both his forehad and the end of his nose! 

It was so cute to watch my oldest son trying to do trick moves out there on the ice — was he trying to impress the girls?  Or was he simply just amusing himself?  I tell you, these kids grow up fast so you never know!  I could see him messing with his Zac Effron hair a little more than usual and he walked with his chest all stuck out!  Don’t worry, his little brothers brought him back down to earth! 

Can’t wait for Saturday night as I am headed out for a night of drinks, appetizers and dancing with other like minded mommies all out to herald JoAnn’s return to the south!!

Is it too early to start back to school shopping?

Yes, it’s that time of year that parents across the country let out a collective sigh as they realise they’ve actually made it half way through the summer holidays and they’re still alive it’s time to hit the stores.  I’ll admit it.  I have no shame.  I’m usually scrambling to find all the necessary items on my kids’ back to school shopping lists as well as the incidental purchases of new shoes, underwear, socks and uniforms, not to mention lunch boxes and backpacks.  I start out with the best of intentions to get it all done and out of the way early, but inevitably I get distracted and other more pressing things come up that need my attention.

This year I want to be different. 

Organized and on time!

I am shopping for two and their lists ARE very long and complicated!

So, I’m considering going out next week to get it all done.  Early!  And, to avoid the sudden rush of other last minute mommy shoppers barging in to me with their shopping carts and that half-frenzied/half happy look on their faces!  I know that look.  I’ve been that look!

Just thinking about all this shopping and soon to be free time is actually making me giddy with anticipation and excitement.  Roll on August, roll on!

This time of year also makes me think that with just a few weeks left of my kids’ summer vacation, we need to dust off their list of places and things they wanted to do before returning to school.  I want them to have fantastic memories of their summer days.  Memories of family get togethers, swimming in the pool, lazing at the beach, walks in the park, digging in the garden, making snow cones and setting up a lemonade stand.  And, what would a summer in Florida be without sweating in line at a local theme park?  We still have that one to cross off their list!

Any back to school items I do purchase early, I shall have to hide so as not wipe the happy signs of summer off their blessed little faces!

Children are not immune to the worries of adults.  Even if you try and protect your child from the economic gripes of the nation, they are unfortunately still met with signs of the times.  Take a drive across my home town, we pass several run down, abandoned homes all with for sale signs in the front garden.  Inquisitiveness gets the better of my boys, so I am forced to discuss said state of the economy.

I try and make it a little more light hearted than the doom and gloom we see in the media by playing games such as “spot the cheapest gas station” and others I can’t remember at the moment.  But, last night at the dinner table, I think I outdid myself as I came up with another one.

It’s no secret that the price of groceries have skyrocketed.  I use to be the sort who would toss out those annoying grocery store circulars that come in the post once a week, but now I find myself flicking through them for the deals.  Last night whilst I was making dinner, I found myself randomly looking through a couple that had come that day when I thought to myself, why don’t I have the boys do this for me. 

And, I could make it a game. 

At the dinner table, no less!

They know what we shop for.  They know what we eat every week because they eat it for goodness sake. 

I gave them each a grocery circular and had them look up our weekly grocery shopping list items and which ever had the cheapest price, that kid got a point.  We actually got quite a lively discussion going wondering why this store could price their item so much more cheaper/more expensive than the other.  The little one also wanted in on the action so we had to give him his own little shopping circular!

Obviously with my children, it ended with them arguing and fighting as usual, but what an ingenious idea to teach my older kids the value of money, no?

You no longer have to hold your applause!

Willpower is defined as the ability to exert one’s will over one’s actions.

Read that again.  The ability to exert one’s will over one’s actions.

Hmmmm, to me, he’s a good friend whom I’ve lost touch with.

At one time, Will Power and I were joined at the hip.  We were inseparable at parties, restaurants and even at the supermarket.  He used to show up all the time.  I could walk away from the most fattening, decadent dessert any time.

Yeah, I was fierce! 

And, there was no stopping me getting to my step aerobics class at the local gym.

Now, between cookies, birthday cakes and treats at the ice cream store with my kids, he has all but disappeared.

Occassionally he rears his head at Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts,  but more often than not he wanders off leaving me to bite in to my lemon pound cake or pumpkin muffin alone!

So, I’m looking for him to come back in to my life.

I have only two weeks to get bikini ready for my girlie weekend beach getaway. 

Did I mention we were going to the beach?  Did I also mention all my girlie friends are skinny bitches a size 0 or 2 or, shock, gasp, horror, maybe a size 4?  That leaves me, a size 10 who is trying to get back down to an 8, as the seemingly morbidly obese one in the group.  I thought I had all the time in the world to get my beach body ready, but time truly does fly doesn’t it? 

Anyway, if you see him, tell him Karen is looking for him.  Meanwhile, I’m going to dust off my elliptical machine, crank it up and work off some muffin!

I wonder if I can get some airbrushing done on my abs gut when I go for my spray tan.