And, then I saw the prompt.

Me right now.

And, I thought fuck’s sake.

I curse you Tara.

I was tempted to take a photo of my feet instead … ye know … because of her infamous foot fetish and all.  Mwahahahahaha.  Anyway, not one to back down from the challenge I’d set myself to participate, here I am … this seriously is me right now.  Hair a mess … no make-up on… night-shirt on and ready for some zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz’s.

Did I already say I curse you Tara?

My name is Karen.

And, today I committed a fashion crime.  A misdemeanour, if you will, for today, I was guilty of having VPL.

*gulp*

I’m talking Visible. Panty. Line.

*shock, gasp, horror*

I didn’t intentionally set out to do so … it just kinda happened.  It was one of those days where I just didn’t feel like wearing a thong with my trousers, so I put on a pair of big girl knickers.  Big girl knickers that guaranteed not to show any visible lines, I might add. I thought my ass was looking pretty good until I caught a glimpse of it in the mahoosive bathroom mirror at work.

*shock, gasp, horror*

I was all oh em fucking gee.  What the what?  I tugged and I pulled at them trying to somehow make the lines disappear, but to no avail.  They were glaringly visible … like the great wall of China is visible from outer space.  I then tried to pull my blouse down to cover my ass.  Sadly, this didn’t work either.

I decided I was, left with three choices:-

1. Sit on my rump and work, not getting up once till it was time to go home at which time I would make a run for it
2. Pretend I was rocking the latest fashion craze and wear it proudly, or
3. Go commando

I’ll let you guess which choice I made.

*sigh*

The things I do for fashion.  And, now I’m wondering if I should demand a refund on that guarantee.

Aaaargh, mateys …

Last weekend, the boys and I headed to Tampa with the fam for the annual Gasparilla children’s parade to flash beg for beads and trinkets from the passing floats.

I joke.

Maybe.

This was actually the family friendly version of the wilder and crazier adults only parade that’s happening this weekend. It’s all part of a Pirate Festival that celebrates a fictitious pirate known as Jose Gaspar and took place in one of my favourites parts of town — along Bayshore Boulevard, a gorgeous waterfront road in Tampa that is one of the world’s longest pavements.

Tampa is also home to the world’s largest bowling pin, but I digress.

We arrived a little later than we expected so missed out on front row seats, however, it didn’t matter where you were as all the kids … as well as some grown-ups not paying attention … were sure to catch or get smacked in the head by the flying beads and treats. No matter where the feck you stood.

Some of the floats’ designs were amazing.

Some of the little shits precious children onboard throwing the beads … not so much.

My middle son admitted to me that if he were onboard, he’d have been picking out folk in the crowd as target practice too. Hmmmmmm, good to know.

So, yes, there were a few casualties amongst us …

And, my little man got smacked in the head with a heavy green necklace and would have had it worse had my brother-in-law not grabbed half of it.

When all else failed, I managed to dry his tears by purchasing him a bubble gun.

My middle son scored a gift card necklace from Ikea so he wore that with pride for the rest of the day. Kudos to Ikea for throwing those about.

There was a fireworks display that we were all too hungry and tired to stick around for, so we ended up finishing the day at a very nice gourmet burger joint in town. And, if we crooned our necks out of the window, we could just about see some of the said fireworks lighting the sky.

It was the best kind of day for me and one that I really needed.

Spent with family.

Near the water.

Letting loose and having fun.

With work and everything else going on in my life right now, I need to take the time to enjoy more like it because life’s too fecking short not to. Yanno?

Aaaaaargh.

==========

FYI — the photo of myself and my youngest son waving was taken by my sister and her new kick ass camera. The rest were taken by my iPhone.

Highs and lows.

Ups and downs.

But, then I hear filing for divorce does that to a person.

The worst feeling I have, besides sadness for my children, is that of unbelievable failure.

Because I hate to fail at anything.

Which was probably part of the problem.  My whole Virgo/perfectionist/ ”failure is not an option” attitude needs a bitch slapping, I think.  I must really try to do better at recognising when something isn’t good for me and let it the fuck go rather than hanging on to it with a death grip.

A friend told me not to look at my divorce as a failure because I didn’t fail.  I gave him and us a good portion of my life and I have three gorgeous boys to show for it.

So, yes … I’ve joined the likes of Russell & Katy, Seal & Heidi, Kim & What’s His Face and officially filed for divorce post-Christmas.  Maybe it’s something to do with all that turkey and sherry and Christmas cake.

Or, it could be that it’s a time of year when you’re bombarded with messages of love and happiness.  Messages that can intensify all that you feel is missing in your own life.  Especially after you open a present on Christmas morning to find you’ve been given a mixer.

Now, what was I saying about letting it go?

Anyway, I thought this a perfect tune to start my week off.

Love, love, love J. Lo’s version of this Donna Summer classic … and I hope you do too, so pump it up, channel your inner disco diva and enjoy …

They say a lot, don’t they?

I was once told I had sad eyes to which, I was all … “what you talking about Willis?”

I was also once told I have laughing eyes, so go figure.

I’m also told that I have very, very, very blue eyes … truth be told, I never quite know how to respond to that.  Do I say, “umm, thanks” or “yeah, better than the usual red ones”?

Today, my eyes are tired and worn out … kinda like the rest of me.

My boys all have lovely blue eyes … I like to think they get them from me … so, I’ve chosen a cute photograph of my littlest man wearing his Spidey mask.  Here he is, flashing his baby blues … I’m telling you if eyes really are the window to the soul then he is a happy, expressive, little soul indeed.

And, fell in looooooooooooooove with it … it’s by a band called Scars on 45 who kinda remind me a little of Snow Patrol.

Crossed with some Coldplay.

Maybe.

I also joined a gym, saw a fab play, learned how to catch an American football and was told by one of my darling children that I should purchase a “hip-T” to cover my ass crack.  Because crack kills and all.

*sigh*

I don’t show my crack that much.

I hope.

Anyway, enjoy … it’s called Heart On Fire …

My middle son took his new iPod to school yesterday.

Against my wishes, I might add.

It was stolen when he was in PE.

He noticed before the end of the day, but never told his teacher.  He waited till he got home.  I wasn’t quite sure how to handle it,  however, my oldest son quickly got to work.  He had installed some GPS tracking app through iCloud on it and was able to remotely lock and locate it right away.  He texted a message to the device after which we saw it move outside to a wooded area only to return to the house a short while later.

I called my brother and asked him what he thought I should do.  He told me to call the police immediately and let them handle it … which I did.

And, thanks to Steve Jobs’ technology, the deputy who came out to take the report was able to retrieve it within the hour.

Amazing or what?  And, talk about making a job easier for the police.

After the day I’d had, it was a great ending to an otherwise crappy day and hopefully a lesson learned by both my son and the troubled young lad who stole it.

Now, I wonder if I can get this technology wired into my purse or work tag or that favourite pair of shoes I keep losing.